Love & Freedom...not in the hippie way

Last week I went to my last I-Camp at Turner Falls (it's really not as bad as it sounds, we're just changing the location of the camp). Camp has become a place that I look forward to going to every year. It never fails once January hits I get camp fever and camp is in July! This year was no different. I think I actually looked forward to going even more (I think that the fact that it was the last time I was going to be there as a coach had a lot to do with that). I prepared for it like I always do...prayed the week before that it would be a great week, that the kids would really go after God with all their heart, and that it would be a life changing week. Little did I know that God also planned what I prayed for those kids to also happen to me.

A couple of weeks before leaving I started to become very stressed and doubtful about God's provision in my life and what His plans were for me after Italy. I knew God was going to provide, but I was having a hard time believing it (which is so dumb, because He's come through time and time again) and I know He has plans for me after Italy (I just like having at least a 2 year plan). I caught myself getting really down and just losing my joy over a lot of things (and don't worry God's working with me on the whole trust issue and keeping my joy). So I was really looking forward to going to camp to get away from everything and just spend time with God and of course all of the amazing kids :)

During that week God opened my eyes and reminded me of what my focus should be. I spent a week with 13 amazing girls that all have a story (some amazing and some sad). To see these young ladies dealing with all sorts of issues...of not feeling pretty enough...to just wanting to feel accepted, etc. broke my heart. Some of them had no idea how God saw them, that He doesn't make junk and that He doesn't make mistakes. That He loves them more than they could ever imagine. Seeing this made me realize that along the way of trying to figure everything out before I leave for Italy and trying to raise my support money, I had lost focus of the most import reason of me going into missions and that's to share Christ's love with every person I can and to let them know how great their worth is in God's eyes.

So that prayer I prayed for them the week before actually became my prayer. It was a great week I met amazing people, got over my competitive ways (kinda haha), but most importantly lives were changed and decisions to follow Christ where made, and I got a gentle reminder and heart check of my focus.

"I wanna clap a little louder than before, I wanna sing a little louder than before, I wanna jump higher than before, I wanna shout a little louder than before. Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom. I wanna lift my hands higher than before, I wanna love you more than before, I wanna worship deeper than before, I've gotta scream louder. No more shackles, no more chains, no more bondage I am free. Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah..." - Eddie James

Beginning to sink in.

It finally happened...I received my first check in reply to my support letter! This past week has been a challenging one. I have had that constant nagging feeling of "I only have 3 months to raise all my support, there's no way." But...once again God showed up. Along with this first check, I also received some money for my birthday (gotta love birthdays!) to go towards my trip and I had also saved some up (shocker I know). Needless to say I am one happy camper right now. So next week I will be mailing in my first set of checks...the fact that I'm going is beginning to sink in now.

Jane of All Trades

Having to raise a budget of $6000 has definitely caused me to become the "Jane of all trades." Ok, maybe not all trades but a few. Along with my support letters that I will be mailing out shortly, I am also selling cookies and muffins at church and Scentsy products. One thing I've learned so far...the idea of home made cookies (from scratch) is a lot better than actual home made cookies (at least in this case). It has been hard not getting discouraged, thinking how in the world am I going to raise all this money in 4 months. I know God has opened this door for me so I know He will provide. I am so thankful for my time in Tulsa where I lived in what I called my "faith zone." I moved there thinking I would have a job in a matter of weeks. One that would also work around my schedule of being a Children's Director at a new church. Well, those weeks turned into months. I would pray and say what anyone else would say...God if you want me to be here than you have to provide. It never failed each month He would come through, sometimes weeks before and others a day before. So I'm choosing to see this as a time to grow my faith even more...and better my skills for being that "Jane of all trades".

Ready or Not...

A couple of years ago God put a passion in my heart for missions and 3 years later I'm finally pursuing it, I might also add that I'm going through with it too (you'll know what I mean by that in just a minute). When I first felt this calling on my life I was eager to get out on the missions field as long as I wasn't going alone. I've always been the type of person that hates doing things alone, for fear of the unknown and the fact that it's way outside of my comfort zone. So I applied to be a mission’s associate with someone thinking all along that I would go with them. Well, that wasn't God's plan. It ended up being that I would have to go alone. So, I didn't go. I let fear control my thoughts and actions. I am so glad that God doesn't just give you one shot. He always has a plan for you it's just up to you which route you go. I ended up taking a detour, but I am so thankful for that detour. Through it I grew up spiritually and experienced God in a way that I never had before. But like many detours it eventually spit me right back on the road I needed to be on. Detours aren't mistakes; you sometimes have to take them to get to where you need to be.

Last year I went on a mission’s trip to Haiti to help rebuild/fix things that were destroyed in the earthquake. We didn't go to preach, we simply went to help and when God gave us the opportunity to talk about Him than we took it. While I was there I experienced such a peace and it was because I was doing what God had called me to do, which is to serve people and not out of obligation but out of love. Ever since then I have had such a desire to go...serve...and tell people about Christ.

At the beginning of this year I was asked by different people, "am I doing what I want to do with my life...what God has called me to do?" Honestly, I wasn't. So, I started praying and seeking God about it. Through different people and experiences (not always easy ones) I ended up here. Some of you might be wondering where "here" is. Well, I am in the process of raising support to go to Padova, Italy in September for 3 months to work at International Christian Fellowship Church. While I am there I will be working in kid's ministry and an after school program, helping in the church office, and teaching adults and teens when needed. I am so excited about this new journey and what God is planning in my life. So, ready or not here I go.